Our Trip

Do you see the rays of sun shining through the clouds behind me? It was so beautiful, and just a picture to me of God's greatness!! David and I got out together one evening, and went down to the peir for a walk out on the water. The weather was so beautiful, and it was so nice to be together! I am so thankful to have such a patient husband! The peir is very long, a good 5 minute walk out to the end! The closest bathroom is at the front, and for me, thats a bit of a problem. Two times we started our walk, got about 1/4 of the way down and I stop and turn around and start running back to the bathroom. Finally after 3 tries, we made it the the end of the peir. Mmm, dreams of days like these to be over are so exciting to think about!! Things like taking a long walk, and camping, and bike riding....only to name a few are things that havn't even been an option for me to do for so long now. Anyways, I am very thankful for my husband and how supportive patient and wonderful he is to me! Our walk on the peir was fun!! :)

I love the water!! I have always loved swimming, and it was the one thing growing up that I was good at! :) When David and I ever get away, it seems to always be around water. We love it! Below, you can see us in the ocean (very small) but we are there. It is so pretty and fun and relaxing all at the same time! We both got a little too much sun though. We are peeling like crazy already!

This next picture is one of my favorites from the trip. Right before we left we got a quick shot outside the condos. Our trip was amazing, and we are so very thankful for it! I know in a couple weeks I will look at these, and only wish I could be playing in the ocean... :) I am looking further though, to the end product, and then I will look at these and think of how bad I really felt during this time.

I don't want to take away from any of the glory from our wonderful trip above. Just real quickly I want you to try and imagine with me. Imagine running in haste to the toilet at least 2-3 times every hour. Imagine every time you are running an incredible amount of pain swelling throughout your entire body. Imagine sitting on the toilet in so much pain it makes your head spin in circles, and you seeing black spots, and just wanting to vommit all over the floor in front of you if it could help take the incredible pain away. Image once more wiping, and seeing large blood clots, then looking into the toilet and just seeing red. Imagine this over and over happening to you all day long, and then all night long, and then all day long the next day.

This has been my experience.....the story of my life....as I sometimes say. Friday and Saturday were a couple very bad days for me. I lost a very large ammount of blood altogether, and by the end of it started feeling very week and lightheaded. Days like that only make me so very happy of the upcoming surgery on Friday! On Friday I went to Kohls to pick something up for my mom. I spent 30 minutes in the bathroom. I called her at one point, and just started crying, "Mom, I don't know what to do". My poor mother was at work and obviously couldn't do anything for me, she didn't really have much to say to me except that she thought that I have made the right choice! I think so too!!

Only 5 more days till this old diseased colon will be out of me, and Lord willing I will be on the road to recovery, and a much healthier life! We are celebrating my nephews 1st birthday tomorrow, and it makes me so very sad! Him and JoLynn would have only been a couple weeks apart, and so close of friends. My heart continually aches for her, and for the hope that one day we can have another baby to cherish. Why does it always seem that somehow I end up summing my entries up with feelings and dreams of JoLynn? I guess the answer would be because that is where my true hearts desire lies. I am tired of it being about me and my health...I am ready to be normal once again!

Anointing

Pound...pound...pound was all I could feel against my chest as my husband grabbed my hand and started leading my towards the stage. It is Sunday night right after the invitation at church. I look up at my pastor and his eyes are filled with tears and he is all choked up. Not one word was said as David and I took a seat on the platform with 5 men of God surrounding us. Pastor took a vile of oil and poured just a small amount on top of my head. Next thing I know Pastor Bob's hand laid on my head and he started praying...pleading with God to do a miracle in my body. Two separate missionaries took there turn praying over me and David. I stayed clenched to David's hand as hard as I could so as not to burst out weaping. A steady stream of tears flowed down my cheaks. Bro. Gear's turn to pray over me, and then lastly pastor. I could hear his heart just broke. He was begging with God to do a miracle in our lives. I felt so small, and so weak. I prayed too, just thanking God for being our strength and our hope.

It was over. My eyes were burning, and I couldn't stop crying. I walked off the stage fast and headed right to the bathroom. I thought that from crying my mascara was getting into my eyes. they were burning so bad. Come to find out that a small stream of the oil had made its way down my forehead and was running into my eye. With a litttle saline rinse, and some cold water that little drama past. :) A little funny to look back on.

I don't think that I can express into words the amazing feeling it was to be surrounded by the prayers of great men of God. I felt so unworthy, but yet they were praying for me! God is so good....and I am so blessed!! We continue to pray for a miracle in my body. We pray for a miracle in a job situation for David. We pray for a miracle for us to have another baby, maybe not right now, but someday. It is a hope and longing that will never decrease or go away. The Lord is good, and continues His blessings toward us! We are truely grateful!

The surgery is just a mere 2 weeks from today, and nerves are setting in. We get to get away for 3 nights together next week down in Padre. I am very excited, and am looking forward to a special time together. I think that husband needs this more than I do. He is so good to me when I am sick. Even though he wouldn't admit it, he gets very cooped up. Not having a job definately adds to this alot! So, some time with him and a fishing pole will do him worlds of good!! :) I love the water! The beach in the off season is so peaceful, and relaxing. Thats what I'm most looking forward too!

Each day that passes, and I spend time after time on the toilet in pain. Each night that I lay in bed so tired and yet not able to sleep, then when asleep wake up over and over stumbling to the bathroom. These weary days and nights make me very glad that I am doing the surgery now. I am very glad that I won't have to deal with this for the next 6 months and then decide to do surgery. I am so glad that these weary days and nights, where it seams like I can't get anything done without getting tired, are soon to be over! I Praise the Lord for His goodness and mercies to us!