2nd Colonoscopy Result

Everyones heard of the saying "When it rains it poors". The problem is that I know what this means a little too much. I feel as if it hasn't stopped raining in a very long time! Sure, some days its only a drizzle, and yes there has been a few sunny days. Pretty much thought I'm living in Washington state.
I forgot completely about my prcedure yesturday. I get a call the day before (its a good thing), and she's reminding me about the day of prep that I need to do. Great, so now instead of getting up and going shopping all day, I get to go to the store pay $45 for nasty liquid stuff to clean out my colon. So, I eat nothing and drink this fluid constantly all day. The pain it caused my intesines was unreal!
Wednesday, the day of, August 12th. We wake up at 5 in the morning since I have to be there at 6:30. I felt like since they were doing a colonoscopy I should shower in the morning and be as clean as I could for my doctor......if you know what I mean! :) Get there, get prepped and ready. Ok, so this is the funny part!! They weel me back into the procedure room, and start getting me ready. My doctor comes in, and tells me he's ready to go. The nurse pumps my IV with the "sleeping" med. A couple minutes later I'm still laying there talking to her. SHe asking me all kinds of ?'s about myself. The doc comes over to me and asks, "how are you doing?". I simply reply, "I'm fine". He smiles, and says, "you shouldn't be talking to us right now". :) :) It was kind of a funny moment. That was until the other (guy) nurse starts pulling up my gown and exposing me! I'm like....hello! Im not asleep yet! :) The doctor had to call an anesthesiologist in and dose me up with something alot heavier. Pretty funny! I was pleased with how I woke up. Last procedure I woke up to so much pain I can just barely remember reaching over the bed and grabbing the nurses near me yelling at them "It hurts! It hurts!" This time was not even half as bad.
The bad news came when the doctor came in after with a very discouraged look on his face. He looked at both of us and shook his head and said, "It doesn't look good in there". He said sometimes symptoms will be worse than what inside actually is, and he was hoping for that for my sake. He told me I believe you are very sick, I know you live in pain.....I just saw it. The next thing he said crushed me. "I think we need to start looking at the possibility of total colon removal". He then proceded to give me the names and numbers of 3 different surgeons who specialize in that field. I will explain now why in such a short 5 years it has come down to this. First of all, UC (ulcerative colitis) in most poeple only inhabits part of their colon. Only a certain part would be affected by this disease. And second of all, UC is known to have "flare-ups". this is a period of time where that certain part starts having problems becoming inflamed and bleeding with ulcers. These "flare-ups tend to last the for the average UC patient 1-3 months. Ok, so my colon for over 5 years now has been in a constant "flare-up", and not only to mention that it covers the whole thing from the rectum to the small intesine. The UC has now begun into the small intestine as well. One more thing the doctor told me. WHen you have UC completely covered throughout the whole colon, the chances of colon cancer more than doubles. Not only that, each year that it stays that way the chances of the cancer spikes. So pretty much My chances of colon cancer are super sky high!
Basically, I came away from yesturday finding out that I am holding a 2-sided coin. On one side, my colon is removed, taken out....forever. And on the other, cancer awaiting me.
Still haven't mentioned the fact that I lose my medical insurane in only 1 1/2 short months. My husband is on the brink of tears everyday . He has started losing hope. He is lacking the one thing that a man needs. The ability to provide for a family.
We need help. "Lord, its enough. We can't handle anymore! Please we beg you....we're on our hands and knees. We need a light on this very dark path!" Our prayers seem not to be answered, and why we ask over and over. Still praying for a bleesing to rain out of heaven. We need it....and soon!
Lastly, but not least. I will never stop the plead and prayer to God for another child of our own. For over 2 1/2 years now that has been our plee, and why the Lord won't give it to us is beyond comprehention.
I read back though this and can tell I am writing this in a depressed mode. I can't seem to shake it for the past few days. I won't change anything though, because this is real. This is my heart!!