Seeing God's Hand

It has been so amazing to watch the Lord work and show His hand in the middle of these times. I have mentioned before about all of the donations and money that has been given to us recently. We just started putting everything into a savings account for when we needed it. I applied for and got turned down for personal insurance. We are now in the process of applying for insurance through a state run high risk pool of insurance. There is ALOT of papework and and things to get ready and send in. Along with it all we had to send in the premium for the first 3 months of the insurance payments. David got the total back that it would be, and it was the very exact ammount that was in the savings account!! It was a need the Lord knew we needed before we even needed it. David came to me and said, "Babe, I think I know why the Lord gave us that money...." We are both just in awe as we watch the Lord's hand in our lives right now. Maybe it wasn't the Lord's desire for me to be complete healed form this disease, but He has shown Himself faithful every step of the way!!

I am so blessed to have so many friends who care so much about me. I couldn't begin to write everything that everyone has done for me. I know of many different churches, and poeple all over the world who are praying for us. People who don't know David and I at all, and yet care so very much! I cherish every single one of your prayers!

I wanted to write and let everyone know in specific how you could pray for me tomorrow during surgery. Yesturday I had all my different pre-op appointments with the surgeon and at the hospital. My surgeon told me that this series of surgeries could be done in a 2-step process instead of the 3-step process which he anticipates I will overgo. He said that there is a chance that tomorrow during the surgery if everything is going just perfectly smooth, and if my anemia counts and malnourishment counts are at a desent level he might just go ahead and proceed on with the second surgery. He wouldn't make this decision until in the middle of surgery, and his decision would be based on how things are going. He told me not to get my hopes up, but that it was a possibility. Well, its too late... :) My hopes are up, and very high! :) I am hoping and praying that He could do the first 2 surgeries all at once. It would cut off another major surgery, and a good 3-4 months of recovery time. Please pray with us tomorrow that this will be the case. Pray that the Lords hand will be on me, and the surgeons. The surgeon also told us that in such a detailed surgery as this that the chances of some sort of complication is very high...50/50. There are so many things that could go wrong. Yes, I am VERY nervous, but I can tell that so many peolple are praying. I feel a peace going in to this, and I thank the Lord for it!!

God is so good to me! I have so much to be thankful for!

Very quickly I wanted to tell everyone reading that I will be posting some belly pictures from before and after my surgery. I have found so much help from different people who have gone through the same thing I am facing on a website called j-pouchlife.com. They have been kind enough to post a link to my blog on their website so that maybe my journey through this could be a help and encouragment to someone else facing this as well. Others on that website have been couragous enough to show "real" pictures from thier surgeries, and it helped me so much to prepare for this. If I can be of any help to others out there, that would make me very happy. Basically this is a warning to anyone who reads this that the next few blog updates will have some not so pretty pictures in them. Sorry if it affends anyone, but please think of it as strictly medical because that is what it is.

Thanks again to everyone for your prayers for me tomorrow!! Will update on Saturday if I am able.

Our Trip

Do you see the rays of sun shining through the clouds behind me? It was so beautiful, and just a picture to me of God's greatness!! David and I got out together one evening, and went down to the peir for a walk out on the water. The weather was so beautiful, and it was so nice to be together! I am so thankful to have such a patient husband! The peir is very long, a good 5 minute walk out to the end! The closest bathroom is at the front, and for me, thats a bit of a problem. Two times we started our walk, got about 1/4 of the way down and I stop and turn around and start running back to the bathroom. Finally after 3 tries, we made it the the end of the peir. Mmm, dreams of days like these to be over are so exciting to think about!! Things like taking a long walk, and camping, and bike riding....only to name a few are things that havn't even been an option for me to do for so long now. Anyways, I am very thankful for my husband and how supportive patient and wonderful he is to me! Our walk on the peir was fun!! :)

I love the water!! I have always loved swimming, and it was the one thing growing up that I was good at! :) When David and I ever get away, it seems to always be around water. We love it! Below, you can see us in the ocean (very small) but we are there. It is so pretty and fun and relaxing all at the same time! We both got a little too much sun though. We are peeling like crazy already!

This next picture is one of my favorites from the trip. Right before we left we got a quick shot outside the condos. Our trip was amazing, and we are so very thankful for it! I know in a couple weeks I will look at these, and only wish I could be playing in the ocean... :) I am looking further though, to the end product, and then I will look at these and think of how bad I really felt during this time.

I don't want to take away from any of the glory from our wonderful trip above. Just real quickly I want you to try and imagine with me. Imagine running in haste to the toilet at least 2-3 times every hour. Imagine every time you are running an incredible amount of pain swelling throughout your entire body. Imagine sitting on the toilet in so much pain it makes your head spin in circles, and you seeing black spots, and just wanting to vommit all over the floor in front of you if it could help take the incredible pain away. Image once more wiping, and seeing large blood clots, then looking into the toilet and just seeing red. Imagine this over and over happening to you all day long, and then all night long, and then all day long the next day.

This has been my experience.....the story of my life....as I sometimes say. Friday and Saturday were a couple very bad days for me. I lost a very large ammount of blood altogether, and by the end of it started feeling very week and lightheaded. Days like that only make me so very happy of the upcoming surgery on Friday! On Friday I went to Kohls to pick something up for my mom. I spent 30 minutes in the bathroom. I called her at one point, and just started crying, "Mom, I don't know what to do". My poor mother was at work and obviously couldn't do anything for me, she didn't really have much to say to me except that she thought that I have made the right choice! I think so too!!

Only 5 more days till this old diseased colon will be out of me, and Lord willing I will be on the road to recovery, and a much healthier life! We are celebrating my nephews 1st birthday tomorrow, and it makes me so very sad! Him and JoLynn would have only been a couple weeks apart, and so close of friends. My heart continually aches for her, and for the hope that one day we can have another baby to cherish. Why does it always seem that somehow I end up summing my entries up with feelings and dreams of JoLynn? I guess the answer would be because that is where my true hearts desire lies. I am tired of it being about me and my health...I am ready to be normal once again!