Thursday, October 7, 2010

14 Weeks Pregnant, and Sick

Wow! Its been forever since Ive posted here on my blog! Thought this would be easier the updating my profile since they will only let you post so much. This won't be long though. Just an update for everyone! :)

Not the best past 2 days for me. Called in to my doctor yesturday after feeling pretty bad for over a week and a half. Turns out I waited too long to call. They hooked me right up to an IV in the office, and took some blood. My results showed I was dehydrated, malnourished, and very low on everything else. She admitted me to the hospital yesturday afternoon, and it took them 6 hrs and 4 different people before they could get another IV in! They have been pumping me full of fluids and sodium, and magnesium, and just seems like everything! I'm starting to puff up! :) Today they put in a PICC Line. Thats a flexible catheter "Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter" that is inserted into a central vein in the upper arm, goes up and around my should and down my chest right in close to my heart. It is semi-permanent and will stay in for the rest of the pregnancy. This will help me to be able to get home health care at home so I can do IV's by myself.....pretty cool! Bad part, its definately not pretty. Hey! its alot better than my ileostomy, and I wont have to keep getting stuck over and over! My blood counts were pretty low as well, and I have been having 2 units of blood pumped in me all afternoon. I have seen several specialists, and everything seems fine with the baby, so that is the good news! It really is true that the baby just "steals" everything it needs from mommy!!

My body just can't keep up right now feeding the baby and me while I am losing everythng through my bowels like water. I am absorbing almost 0 nutrients. I guess this will be a battle for me for the whole pregnancy. I asked for a time machine to fast forward these next 5 1/2 months :) haha

Thanks for listening! Just wanted to send out an is fine, but momy is sick. Hoping to go home tomorrow or Saturday. Thanks for your prayers! 

Saturday, May 15, 2010

No More Bag!

I wanted to briefly update everyone on my past couple days after surgery. David hasn't done as good at keeping everyone updated this time. :) The surgery itself went very well. It only lasted for a little less than 2 hours, and I was only in recovery for about an hour. That is a record for me! The thing that most helped with that is that I didn't have to have a catheter. Yeah!

Its been two days now post surgery and I am doing well. This surgery is the least invasive of all of them, and I have been so much more mobile. It's a good thing too because the toilet has been my best friend since my bowels started moving. I still haven't eaten much of anyting. Wednesday after surgery I couldn't even keep ice chips down very good without getting nausious. Yesturday I was on clear liquids, and worked all day to get one juice drank. After throwing up, and 3 doses of anti-nausia meds to get it down. Today has been a bit better with being so nausious, though they have still given me the anti-nausia meds to help anyways. So with the meds, I was able to eat a yogurt earlier today, and tonight was able to eat some grits. I still feel good, and am not sick yet. Yay!!

I have spent alot of time (as mentioned) on the toilet even though I haven't eaten. I have lots of gas and air stuck in the j-pouch that doesn't want to come out due to the surgery. I am not used to feeling the pain and urges of having to run to the bathroom in so long, and this part of the recovery has not been fun. Last night and today I spent alot of time in the bathroom. I can't say I wasn't warned that this is how I would feel though. I am very thankful in all the things that I was told to bring to the hospital. The soft TP, and cream have been key. Thanks!

Well here it is Saturday morning, and as you can tell I didn't get this post finished and posted yesturday. Once again I spent most of the night and all this morning in the bathroom. My stomach pains have seemed to increase. :( My doctor is out of town once again, and I have a fill-in doctor till Monday morning. He advanced my diet to a low-residue earlier this morning, but I don't feel ike I can handle it yet as of right now. I have been going on 3-4 long walks everyday which feels good on my back. David has been able to sleep alot better this hospital stay than the others simply because I havent had to wake him up as much throughout the night. He has been such a solid rock for me through all this,! I couldn't say enough about him and what an awesome husband, friend, and and provider he has been for me simply in the past year. God was so good to me in giving me such a wonderful husband! I am so thankful how much closer David and I have grown together in our 4 years of marriage.

Well I will update more next week when I get out of the hospital. I am hoping to be able to go home Monday or Tuesaday at the latest. Pray I can eat and keep the food down. Love you all!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Answered Prayer

It has been a while since my last blog update, and I would like to explain to you the road I've traveled in these past few weeks. I will tell you straight up takedown surgery has been scheduled for Wednesday, May 12th at 3:30 in the afternoon!! I want to first and foremost give thanks to the Lord who has heard my cry and answered my prayer! (and when I say cry, I mean it literally)

I mentioned last time about the apt I had with my OBGYN. She looked over the results from my MRI and also did an internal exam looking very closely at my ovarian cyst. She concluded that it will eventually take care of itself. She told me that in a sence it would in time "roll over and pop" and the fluids from the cyst would dissolve into my body. She did say that it would be very very painful and wrote me a presciption for Vicaden. So thats that! :)

The problems I talked about last time that I've had with my stoma have only increased in pain and severity. My stoma itself is completely inverted inside now, and is pulling the edges of my skin inward along with it. This problem makes getting any sort of seal around that part of the skin virtually impossilble. David and I are dealing with it at least 2x a day. I really could use to change it more than i do to, but we have learned from trial error that it is just as painful and stressing to change it when I am active. It takes around an hour to change it at night and the skin is so much more irritated and painful and red than it is when we change it early in the morning. David now wakes me up before he goes to work every morning around 6 so we can do a much needed change then. Even then though, my skin get maybe a 30 minute break before the seal is broke once again, and stool is sitting on the infected area of skin. The infected/irritated area keeps growing as well with each day that goes by.

My surgeon told me over 4 weeks ago because of the problems I was having way back then that he would be willing to move the surgery up a month for me. Since then I have kept my eyes on and around week 8 post surgery. But 2 weeks ago I found out my surgery wouldn't be until May 24th which is right at 11 weeks. Only one week early from normal versus one month. I felt like I was hit in the gut when I found out I had to wait 3 weeks longer than I had been planning on. My doctors nurse told me that I would be on the top of the list in case somebody cancels or another day opens. I started praying hard that something would work out, because I really didn't know how I was going to wait another whole month! I found out that there was a possibility that my surgeon may be able to be in town to do it on the 14th. My eye was focused on that date. I prayed and prayed about it, and at one point I really felt peace that everything was going to be fine because it was going to happen. Just 2 days ago on Tuesday, David called the doctor's office and talk to them. He realized they were not very helpful at all, and he also got the confirmation that the 14th was not going to work out. Basically they told him, "Stop calling us, and deal with having the surgery on the24th!" When he told me, I broke down. The rest of that Tuesday was shot. I was very depressed all day long and just couldn't believe it. I asked the Lord over and over "Why?" David also came home from work that day in a bad way. We were not a very good mix on Tuesday night. He ended up staying home with me yesturday. It was then, in the morning, right after we had finished changing my bag that I got a call from my doctor saying that somebody had canceled their surgery, and that they had me scheduled now for May 12th! WOW, in just only one week!

After hanging up with them I started crying and screaming, and I was in utter disbelief. :) I went from crying and asking God why one day, to so happy and thanking Him the next. Thank-you Lord!! Thank-you!

So now, only 6 days away! I am starting to understand some of the things I will be facing for the first few weeks after this surgery. I know it will be hard, but I just have to look at it as one more step to getting better. Hopefully the final step in recovery. This will all include me learning the all the ways of my "new" body. I am ready, bring it on! I am just so very thankful that I don't have to live with an ostomy for the rest of my life!

Well thats all :) 6 more days of living with the pains of this ostomy. I can't wait to wake up from surgery, look down, and it be gone! I don't care about the scar it will leave. Actually I will welcome the scar. It will be a forever imprint of something I endured, something Ive grown through, something I will never forget. So thanks to my helped me get to the other side!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Counting down the days

This is the first times I got "out" after surgery. We took grandma to Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center with my mom and Katie before she left. The day was one of the hottest we have had so far all spring, and I wilted very fast! :) It was still so nice, and all the wildflowers this year are just beautiful because of all the rain we've gotten. David sat with me half the time in the quaint little cafe there while I hydrated and got cool.

It was a special time with my family!

In my last blog update I explained to you the extreme pain has been for me, and wont repeat that in detail. All I can say is that the infection is continuing to grow. It is spreading further down and around my stoma, and changing the bag sometime is unbearable. David has been such an angel and is always so calm and patient with me. I don't think I could have done any better!! Something else that I have been battling is sleep. For some reason my nights have been restless. Often I lay awake for 2 hrs trying to be patient to fall asleep. But once I do drift off I wake up every hour and just can't seem to dose into that deep sleep. On top of it all the pain has its part of waking me up several time at night as well.

We are to the point of counting down the days till my next surgery. Of course though there are pros and cons to everything! The other night when I couldn't sleep I was on the computer reading for a long time about the long first weeks after the Take-Down surgery. I have to admitt that it have got me kinda scared. I am not looking forward to going through it all. I read that in a way it is harder mentally at times than physically. That for the first few weeks after take-down it is a sort of dea ja vue of living with the Colitis again. I know i can't get to the other side without going through it, but I am scared. Even in the know, I say Bring It On!! :) (well you can ask me about that in the middle of all the "butt burn" :) haha)

My doctor has me on some colesterol medicine that I am taking solely for the side effects. It is supposed to help thicken the stool and decrease the acidity. So we will see. My apt with the surgeon is in 6 days, and that is something else I just wish I could sleep through! When your doc tells you up front to take to strong vicaden before the apt, you know its going to be bad! Told David I need him there for me....."I don't want to sit there and watch you be in pain" he says. "Too bad!" I really need the morral support!

I have a dr apt tomorrow with my obgyn to talk to her more about the ovarian cyst they found in the MRI. I am very interested in finding out more about it, and also how much more of an effect it can have on me getting pregnant. I know chances are very low already. The surgeon told us that after 3 major abdomonal surgeries there is so much scar tissue in and around all the female organs it is hard to concieve. Now on top of that I find out about a large ovarian cyst. Its hard! Its so hard! David and I talk about it all the time and how different our lives would be if JoLynn were with us. I miss her so much my heart aches!! Will I be able to have another child to hold in my arms?....Only the Lord know.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Four weeks out...

I know that this post has been long in coming! Believe it or not about a week ago I sat down and typed about half of a blog update and then lost internet and lost everything Id written. And after that I couldn't make myself sit back down and type it all back. So here I am :)

Its been 4 weeks since my surgery. I am physically doing very well! I am getting around good, and feel stronger pretty much every day. I had a walker to help me around the house for the first 2 - 2 1/2 weeks, and whenever I would go out I would use a wheelchair or a riding cart to get around since I didnt have much strength or stamina on my feet. I made myself start building strength by getting around my house without any help first. At first it took me a while to walk anywhere, but after time (and lots of pain meds) I am free of all help. When Im out I dont use anything. I do get tired alot faster, but thats ok. I think pushing myself sometimes is good.

My grandma has been with me for the past 3 weeks and it has been such a blessing to have her here helping us! I don't know what shape me or my house would be in if it wasnt for her! I am back to being all alone though since she went home yesturday. Its up to me now! :)

Although everything sounds great up till now, Its really not. I am having some other problems that have set me back alot! I currently have a loop-end stoma which very different from the end stoma I had for the first 6 months. For those of you who really dont understand the difference it would be a waste of my time to try and explain it to you on here. Loop-ends are often much more problematic than simple ends, and...well I am having ever problem in the book with mine. Essentially mine ended up healing upside down. Instead of the bowel opening to be on the top where it can flow overtop the stoma, my opening in underneath, and the stoma is pushing the bowels straight down and onto my skin. Because of this it has been a nightmare trying to get a seal with the bag. I went last week to the hospital to see my stoma nurse. She gave us four different things to try, and every single one only made my infection worse and spead bigger. It has only been four weeks, and I couldnt begin to tell you how bad the infecton is getting. So as each day I get stronger, my skin and infection around my stoma only gets bigger and so much worse. The pain is unbearable at times, and sometimes I don't know how i am going to make it another day. But still the days go by, and still it gets worse.

I could explain the pain as a continual burning of acid, but thats hard for you to imagine. So maybe this...imagine 3 or 4 fire ants sitting on your stomach and it feeling as if they are constantly eating away at your skin and there is nothing you can do about it. You just have to let them hang out there...eating away. Thats kinda what its like at all times, and then at times its so much worse! Like last night. At this point, I have a big open wound that ever day I am trying to clean and then after cleaning (which is so very painful) I try to put glue or sticky stuff on top of it to reattach the bag. This is where the problem is lying. It is almost like trying to use scotch tape on a wet surface. No matter what you do, its just not going to stick. We went through 3 good bags last night....on off on off on off. Finally with the fourth one we gave up. As I sat there and looked at it after many tears and so much frustration, I began to pretty much laugh. I could see and feel the output stream right down and under the seal we had worked so long and hard for. I looked up at a very tired husband and said, "what are we going to do?" Now, I am not typing this for actually feels good to write it out. To put what Im facing right now down on paper.

Maybe you are wondering what the doctors can do for me. That surely there is something that they can do! Honestly there isn't. Its just something I am going to have to deal with till I can have the thrird surgery which is the let-down. Yesturday I had my first post-op apt with my surgeon. He right away agreed with us that it is pretty bad and that he is willing to move the surgery up by a month. This means I will be having my third surgery in apx 4 more weeks. This sounds like good news, and I know it is, but all my mind is wrapped around is the 4 MORE weeks of this pain and misery that I am facing right now. I really dont know how much worse I can get, and how much more I can handle. The pain wears on me so much, and I am finding myself very down every day. I think that right here and right now I could call myself depressed. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up till its all overwith.

Im sorry that this update is all about hurt and pain. It is to you all, though, who I can tell the truth. I know I have so many people out there praying for me and rooting me on. It is those small things, the texts, the comments, the letting me know they are there and praying that really gets me through every day. I really appreciate it!

Ps. I really really do appreciate the comments, so keep them coming! :)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Surgery Updates

Hello everyone! It is right now 2 days shy of 2 weeks since my surgery. I have been through alot, and come so far since then, and yet I still have quite a ways to go. For any of you who really know me you know that I am full of life. I am the one always wanting to get out and do something, the one who is singing loudly with music in the backround and trying to get David to dance with me around our living room. I love to laugh and smile, and I love being with and spending time with my husband. Yesturday I came in to the bedroom and looked at David laying there and just smiled. With everything I had I wanted to run and jump on him and just laugh and have fun with him. Instead, I slowly and painfully crawled up there next to him and we just sat and talked for almost an hour. Now don't get me wrong, because I am a girl, and I do love to talk to! :) I guess my point in writing all this, is I miss having fun, and playing around, and I miss simply laughing (because even laughing hurts!). This is the point in my healing when I start to get very impatient with myself! Just get better already Jeessica! :)

Details...details! :) Well, first may I please correct David in his last blog post and say that he did not get to come see me till Thursay morning! :) That small peice of information is very important to me because those first couple days seemed like forever before I could see him! My biggest setback this time through was nausia, just feeling so sick. Every single day for 8 days straight after the surgery I was very sick and couldn't eat. Just the smell of food made me sick.I only vomitted one time, but was taking nausia meds 3-4 times a day to help prevent this because throwing up after abdominal surgery hurts like crazy! 

I also developed an infection around my incision which is still to this day bothering me. The infection built up inside to the left of my incision. It almost looked to me like a ball was sitting on the inside of my belly the way it protruded out. When i told my doctor about the pain he said, "Yes, its called a major surgery!". He didn't seem bothered by my odd pains. The next fill-in doctor I had is the one who found the infection, and started me on antibiotics. He was very nice, and I was very thankful for him. The 3rd doctor saw the swelling in my stomach and told me it was just a gas bubble. Well after living with UC for over 6 years I could have told you that it was NOT a gas bubble! "Won't you doctors just listen to me! I do know a little bit about my own body!!" The day after I came home my "gas bubble", which was in fact a swelling of infection, decided it needed to leave my body. (sorry to be gross) A spew of infection and blood broke one of the stiches and flowed out of my body. For two days straight there was a slow continual flow. Thankfully this was a good thing, and really nothing to worry about besides the added pains it caused.   

The second doctor that saw me over the week-end was very nice, he actually listened to me, and he is in fact the one who started me on a medication called Reglan. It regulated the bowels to get them moving in a forward motion. The ordinary nausia meds obviously werent doing anything for me. I needed something more! Thank-you doctor Cline for hearing me, and finding the infection, and for finding the med which essetially helped me to be able to start eating!

So still with the infection, and just at the beginning stages of trying food it is Tuesday the 9th day after surgery. I was just sooo ready to go home. David had to start back working, and I was at the point where I felt like I was getting depressed, and crying over everything. It didn't look promisimg for me to get home till probably at least Thursday. The doctor came in and talked to me for a while (seeing the "gas bubble" :) ) and asked me "when do you want to go home?" I looked up at him feeling like crying and just said "NOW!". He looked at me and said I think I can work that out. Oh my word! I felt like screaming, and crying and laughing all at the same time. All of my meds that I was on through IV could be taked orally, and he said that they could monitor me from home if anything else happens.

Long story short, I got to go home! :) Do you hear the smile in my voice? :) I think David was almost as excited as me. He was getting exhaused staying with me at the hospital, and then waking up and having to go to work. So there it is for now. I'm home, and for now, that in and of itself just makes me happy!

I will continue the update from my home healing maybe tomorrow. Thanks everyone for your continual prayer, concerns, texts, calls, and love. I couldn't be more grateful!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Friday 3/12/10

Well its Friday and we have come a long way. Monday after the surgery it took a long time for Jessicas kidneys to kick in so she was in post surgery care till around 10pm. At which time they sent her into IMC (Intermediate Care) She didnt get to go to a normal room like last time. They still wanted to keep an eye on her. Mom and Katie, Dad and Mom Ronson all went ahead and went home since it got so late. I got to go down and see her in the post surgery room before I left for the night. Visitors cant spend the night in IMC.

To make things worse I got sick that night with body aches, stuffy head, and a sore throat. I didnt get to see her till Wed morning after I was better.

Last night she went for her first walk. It went well.And this morning she is in getting an MRI. Thought I would throw this together while I am waiting for her to come back. I am sure she will rearrange and change all this later. Thanks for reading.  

Monday, March 8, 2010

Post Surgery

Well its 9.30pm and Jessica is still in the recovery room. The surgeon said that things went great. No complication, and she was fully recovered from the UC. Unfortunatly she is dealing with a lot of pain and lack of urine. They have been getting the pain under control since she go out of surgery but now her kidneys are not kicking in yet. Apparently this is nothing to be concerned about, she had this problem last time as well. The kidneys have something to do with your urine flow. So, with all that, Lord willing she will be here in her room with me getting some rest. Thanks for all your prayers, concerns, and texts.

Sunday, March 7, 2010


Two days before surgery....

I have been suffering with a head cold for almost 3 weeks now, and at my pre-op apts my doctor checked me very thoroughly. He said he can deal with upper resperatory stuff as long as my lungs are clear. Thankfully they are. Yesturday I had a few errands to run and have a list of things to get done before I go in for surgery tomorrow. Early afternoon, while driving, my ear had a bad surge of pain. Then it started to feel like there was alot of pressure building up. I kept trying to yawn and swallow to get it to pop. Unsuccessful, my ear just started surging with pain, and soon I couldn't hear anything out of it. In just a period of 2 hrs I couldn't believe how bad it got! And I started to get kinda worried.

Long story short, it ends up that I have a full blown ear infection. No wonder it hurt so bad! I am very thankful I went in to a Ready Clinic to get it looked at. The doc gave me a topical presciption for it so as not to interfere with the surgery. With that and Advil I feel alot better this morning! Thank-you Lord!

That list of things that I need to get doone is not getting done today with me being sick....Oh well :( Guess its most importent for me to be well.

Would appreciate an extra prayer for this infection to go away, and fast! Can't believe that my surgery is here. Still don't know that I am mentally ready for this. Ready or not here it comes! :)

Will have David update my blog on how surgery went. Thanks so much everyone for your care and concerns, and most of all your prayers!!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Getting Antsie

A friend asked me this morning if I needed anything before my next surgery. I asked her if she had any patience I could have... :) a way I totally mean it! As this next surgery gets closer and closer I find myself getting more nervous and antsie everyday!! But then I still have one LONG week of waiting (and lots of work) to do before ... before I am helpless again an have a long stretch of recovery.

There are definately two side to these feeling. One being the fact that I just want all of this behind me! I will not post another blog update about leakages, but let me just say that they are part of my life right now, and something I have to face while I still have this ileostomy. So there are times when all I want is to just be done with all this, and fast!

The other side is what I am feeling more strongly as the days grow closer to surgery. That is the fact that I am submitting myself to what I now know will be the outcome of a major surgery. That outcoome is weakness, and helplessness, and pain...lots of pain, and new trials to face (eg. the ileostomy) with each step of this long process to recovery. 95% of the time my eyes are on the end...the strength and wellness of what I will be when this is all over and I am my new "normal" as a J-Poucher! Right now its on the present, and right now the present is scary to me!

So please, as you all did so faithfully last time. Pray for me. I need alot of it right now. And if any of you have any of that patience I was talking about earlier that I could have, please just send it on my way!! :)

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Time Flies

It has been 3 months now since I have updated my blog. Wow! Time flies right on by! I will be back updating for you all the progress and recovery of my next upcoming surgery. My total reconstructive surgery is scheduled for Monday, March the 8th. I am very ready and anxious to get it done and behind me. Dont get me wrong by thinking I am excited....I just am ready to take the next step painful though it might be. I am definaltely not looking forward to the recovery of another major opperation.

My grandmother is coming down again after the opperation to help me again. What a blessing! Her help is a God send to both David and I!

Will you all let me take a minute to gloat on my wonderful husband David? :) God knew just the right man for me! David is so even tempered, selfless, encouraging, so sweet and patient!!! He as been there every step of the way for me, and not just there, but continually going the extra mile to make sure that I have everything I could need. Throughout the years of my colitis I could not begin to explain the sweet patience he gave to me. And now with my ileostomy he tends so soft and patiently to me I sometimes am still in awe of how wonderful he is!!! I sure hope that one day I can repay to him every kind and tender love that he has so willingly given to me!!!

Imagine a stong and healthy 25 year old young woman, and that would be me! :) I havnt been able to say that about myself since I was a teenager in highschool! I honestly had forgotten what it was really like to feel "good". So many times that would be my reply to the everyday question "how are you?", but it was never the truth. I really can see now how sick I really was. Every single day for over 6 years I had gut wrenching pains over...and over...and over. I never slept through the night, and running to the bathroom in terrible pain seemed to just be my "normal". I am so excited that these past 3 months of my life I actually feel good! I have gained weight (maybe a little too much :) ) and been able to exercise and gain some muscle.

This next surgery, in my mind, is just another step to the new me! :) I am very thankful that I did not have Crohns, and that this ileostomy is just temporary. I can not imagine having to live with it! I dont know why, but I seem to have had alot of problems with mine, and am hoping that this next loop-end wont be worse (as I have heard it can be). I just went to see Dr. Graves on Monday, and he said that I only have to wait 3 months between these next surgeries. I am excited about that! I am hoping to schedule my let down surgery for the end of May.

David and I had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas together!! My sister had her first baby boy on November 20th, and I was able to go to Pennsylvania in January to go meet my nephew Andrew Joseph. 

Thanks for everyones prayers for me! I truly appreciate every one of them!! Please don't forget about me through this next one! :) Will be talkin to you all more on here! Take Care!!