Thursday, November 5, 2009

Helpless

I grab my Bibile and purse, and head out the door on Wednesday night. I was meeting up with my family at Johnny Carinos for a nice dinner before church. The whole drive in I couldn't wait to see my wonderful husband, and give him a kiss. I just love their bread dipped in the olive oil, but made myself eat only a little, and started my meal with a sald.

That is when it happened. Right in the middle of dinner I started to feel a trickle run down my stomach and onto my leg. I looked over at my husband and said, "I need help...FAST!". I stood up and started to quickly make my way to the bathroom. David snatched my purse and followed behind me as I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in the stall. My skirt was the first thing to come off, then my shoes, and then my underwear. I just stood there for a while and looked down at myself. All I could do was start crying. I felt so extremely helpless it scared me. The plastic seam of my ileostomy had somehow torn, and....well, lets just say it was gross and I felt miserable! I had nothing but toilet paper to help me out. My mother-in-law got me one of the restaurants cloth napkins, and I cleaned up just enough to make a quick exit out the side door, and into the car David had pulled around for me. As soon as he closed my door I started sobbing....it was the worst feeling in the world! He drove very fast and crazy to get me to my moms house (the closest place) where I was able to get into the shower and clean off good. We had a back-up kit in the car with all the stuff to change my ileostomy, so it all worked out ok in the end. Even after I was cleaned up and ok I still found myself with tears running down my face. It was a terrible night, and one I hope to never repeat!

6 comments:

  1. Hello, I can not imagine what you are going through. All I can say is just keep your eyes on the Lord and He will bring you through. I will be praying for you. God Bless

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  2. Awwww, that is so awful that happened to you. I hope that you do not get discouraged...keep your head up! God knows every hurt, every tear and every heartache. You still look as beautiful as ever too! Praying for you! :)

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  3. I feel horrible for you. But you know what,
    you have a great spirit about everything God has given you. He will bless you more then you know for being a angel through it all.

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  4. Oh Jessica! I am sorry that you had to go through that. In our minds we think that this surgery will give us the ability not to "run" to the bathroom and here many still have to "run" due to things such as this. I am sure that I will have these days as well. I am NOT looking forward to it but have tried to prep myself for it. I know it doesnt sound right coming from me because I havent had surgery yet but it will get better. Blog hopping on the subject it seems that many have leak issues but that it does get better. PLEASE remind me of that when I experience you situation. You will have conquered and you will be all the wiser to share what worked for you. Please know that you are thought of and prayed for.

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  5. Jessica, I saw your blog on the J-pouch website. You and I have similar stories. I am 33 and had the 1st of three surgeries in April, the second was a week ago. The third and final will be in Feb/March. This is so challenging, and there are times when I feel there is no one who could understand what I am going through. I had a an experience like yours while on a hike this fall! yikes, I was miles from the car and leaking the whole way back. It was a total disaster. Please e-mail me if you want to talk. This is a crazy journey.
    jentzsch1@gmail.com

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  6. Jessica, I also found your blog while searching the j-pouch websites. I hope you don't mind me posting a comment. I am 43, married and have three sons age 19, 16, and 13. God has richly blessed me with a wonderful wife and children and a praying congregation of Christian believers at Mt. Hope C of C. I have suffered with UC since 2001 and in the past couple of years the Asacol stopped working and nothing else they tried seemed to help. On 6/25/09 after my second dose of Humira I felt terrible. By 7/20/09 I had lost 25 lbs. I went to Barnes Jewish Hospital on 7/30/09 and had the first of the three stage surgeries on 8/5. After 4 wks with the 1st illeostomy I felt great and found that the two piece "Assura" ostomy products from Coloplast worked great for me. I was actually able to cycle over 200 miles between 9/5/09 and my second surgery on 10/13/09. I didn't have any leakage and changed my skin barrier and pouch about every 3 days. After my second surgery, with the loop illeostomy I had more trouble due to the location of the opening being so close to my skin. My wife had to help me change and I had to use a "convex" skin barrier to prevent leaking and skin breakdown. I had my third and "God willing" final surgery on 12/08/09. I am currently trying to get adjusted to having the Jpouch. It's been a little frustrating but I have to look at the big picture and give it time since it's only been a couple of weeks.
    Anyway, I mainly wanted to just tell you that your faith in God is an encouragement to me and I know that the prayers of all my brother's and sister's in Christ have been the single most encouraging factor in my journey. My wife and I will pray for you and may God bless you and your husband. In Him, Marshall

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